With which parent is the child left after the divorce?

For each married couple, divorce is not the mosta good moment in life, especially when there are underage children. Sometimes during the divorce case, once the spouses do not pay attention to the feelings and desires of the baby.

For the parents at these moments, it is only important to collect the documents that will be needed for the divorce. With whom the child remains, they are not particularly worried, hoping that everything will cost and be resolved peacefully.

In most cases, if the spouses are good,well-coordinated relations, and they do not want to spoil them, the question of the child's living with a certain parent does not occur. Usually a divorce is difficult, but many couples manage to maintain good mutual understanding and periodically «divide» their child.

In fact, not everyone is as simple as that. The question of who are left with children in the divorce of parents, sometimes requires a judicial decision. This happens if the couple has two or more toddlers. In the case of one child, such a question can be resolved peacefully and calmly.

How to say about divorcewith which parent is the child left after the divorce?

During the divorce proceedings, each of thespouses suffer in their own way: someone does not need it at all, but someone simply does not want to mess with papers and documents. Despite the feelings of the couple, divorce affects children more, because they do not want and do not want to see one of their parents a couple of times a week.

Usually it happens that the couple are not able todivide the child among themselves, so they force him to choose. According to statistics, during divorce, children remain with their mother, it happens so often enough, besides, many fathers take it for granted and do not worry about raising their baby, dumping all the care responsibilities for the former spouse.

The child remains with the pope: the probability

Sometimes the court decides to leave the baby with his dad. Such cases are quite rare, only 5-7% in disputes. Lawyers identified 2 reasons why the court accepts the mother party:

  • many judges in civil cases are women, and they are close to the notion of motherhood;
  • men are not too eager to live together with their child, because they understand that they must take on all the responsibilities for care and education.with which parent is the child left after the divorce?

Usually children stay with their father after divorce onlyin the case when the pope is well-off and insists on one-on-one upbringing. In such cases, the child is engaged in a nanny and hired staff, and the father — earns money.

Division of children by mutual agreement

with which parent is the child left after the divorce?

Of course, it is better for parents to forget all grievances,feelings, fears and start joint, fair negotiations, on which the question of the future fate of the joint child will be resolved.

In case everything goes quietly, the spouses can protect the baby from scandals and hysteria, which at a young age will not lead to anything good.

The made agreement will help to solve at divorce, with whom the child remains, and also to accelerate divorce process and to concentrate on the arisen problems.

According to the existing legislation, the contract should clearly state:

  • the address by which the child will live after the divorce;
  • responsibilities for the care and education of each parent;
  • distribution of money for the maintenance of the baby;
  • the number of meetings of the other spouse with the baby.

The agreement between the parents is impossible — how to be

with which parent is the child left after the divorce?

If the couple can not agree on whetherwho remains after the divorce, will have to resort to a court decision. According to the rules, it is necessary to file a statement of claim in the district court, proceeding from one of the parents. The application can be filed simultaneously with the divorce case or separately from it.

What you need to indicate in the claim when writing:

  • the name of the judicial organization;
  • Name, address of both the plaintiff and the defendant;
  • Name of children, date of birth;
  • the substance and grounds on which the application is submitted;
  • list of documents attached to the claim, signature, date.

That after the divorce the child remained with the mother orfather, the statement must indicate the reasons why the court should give preference to you. For such reasons may include financial insolvency of one of the parents, improper treatment of the child during cohabitation, alcohol or drug addiction.

When children are given the right to vote

Sometimes at a court session the child is given the opportunitychoose the one with whom he wants to stay, but only if he is already 10 years old. The question of who the child remains after the parents' divorce requires a responsible approach, so sometimes the court reserves the right to decide, even if this is contrary to the wishes of the children.

Such decisions are made at the meeting is not easy,because a kid can say one thing, but in order to protect minors and provide good conditions for upbringing and living, you need to say something completely different.

with which parent is the child left after the divorce?

What is the focus on divorce? With whom the child remains, depends on how much each of the parents is ready to give everything and a little more, so that his child remains with him. If both are determined, have good enough conditions for upbringing, love their baby and want to be with him, the decision will not be easy.

During the court sitting in the first placethe rights of underage citizens, that is children, are protected. In other words, the judge must understand with whom the child remains after the divorce and where the baby himself will be better: from the mother or from the pope.

Age of child

This is the first factor in the divorce. With whom remains a small child, depends on the claim for the divorce process.

If the dissolution of marriage comes from a woman who has a baby breastfed or has not turned 5 years old, it is clear that the court will leave the baby with her mother.

In the event that the baby is older and the lawsuit originated from the father, the decision can be made in favor of the man.

If a child is barely 10 years old and wants to stay with a mother who does not work anywhere, abuses alcohol, then the court will not listen to this opinion and take the opposite side. If the child is already an adult — 15-17 years old, the court fully takes into account his opinion, since teenagers at this age can adequately assess the situation and determine a place where they really will find it easier to live.

Affection of children

with which parent is the child left after the divorce?

It is often enough to meet the situation whenthe child is strongly attached to one of the parents, regardless of his attitude, way of doing life, moral principles and principles.

This state of affairs may be due to the fact that for a long time the child lived with his mother or father, so he feels the need for this person.

Sometimes in such cases, non-forensic assistance of experts and psychologists, which help children understand that with a certain family member, it will be much better.


An important factor in the divorce. With whom the child remains, depends also on the extent to which the person who filed the claim and claims for upbringing corresponds to social principles and principles.

Children learn by the example of their parents, so the court must take into account what the plaintiff and the defendant can give him, how much the right way of life is being led, what the child will learn from his mother or the pope, and whether it will not be adversely affected. For example, if one of the spouses has a previous conviction, abused alcohol or drugs in the past, or has such habits now, leads or led an immoral lifestyle with constant drunks and parties, does not consist of work, then the child should not be given such a child, since nothing he will not learn good there.

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With whom are children left in the divorce of their parents,depends on the comfort of the proposed housing, the creation of favorable living conditions, the wages of each of the spouses. The factors on which the decision is made include material security, the availability of their apartment, marital status and health.

In the event that one of the parents has a good salary, but does not have enough time to engage in sports with the child, to participate in his upbringing, then a decision in his favor can not be accepted.

Also, if one of the spouses has a new husband or wife, the decision can be made in their favor, since the material security is sufficient, plus there is always someone who will take lessons with the child and take him to classes.

with which parent is the child left after the divorce?

Decision is made

After making a decision, it is very important not to miss ityour chance, that is, when appointing you as a legal guardian, you must carefully treat the child, as well as regular meetings with the other parent. The last item requires compulsory execution, otherwise the spouse will receive another claim that he also has the right to a meeting, and the previous decision will be reviewed.


Effects of Divorce on Children

Parents in seperation and divorce are very concerned about the effects of divorce on children. They wonder whether their decision will affect the happiness and health of their child. Reliable information about the effects on children is still being gathered and analyzed by sociologists and psychologists.

The divorce itself does not affect children in a negative way. The effects result more often from the feeling of uncertainty of what is going to happen after the divorce, from the level of conflict between the parents and from how the parenting after the divorce is done.

The consequences of a divorce for children are mostly that they have to move to a different home and sometimes to a different school and that they will not see and be with both their parents at the same time any more. In most of the cases, they will live with their mother and they will see their father much less.

To adjust to their new situation takes them 2 years or more.

The age of the children plays a role in how they react to the divorce. Effects of divorce on children under 9 years — the so called pre-schoolers — are that they tend to blame themselves for the divorce. They also dream about their parents getting back together again some day. That's wishful thinking.

with which parent is the child left after the divorce?

Manage the effects of divorce on children

For pre-schoolers, the family and especially their parents, is the center of their universe. They need a lot of attention, care, love and confirmation from them. As a result of the divorce, they might become even more dependent of their parents.

Divorced parents report that after the divorce, their young children started bed watering again and that they could not or did not want to do simple tasks that they were able to before. Probably, this is their way of getting closer to their parents.

Adolescents (children between 9 and 13 years) react in the opposite direction. They tend to behave more independent. They feel betrayed by their divorced parents. Mistrust enters the relationship. They feel they have to take care of themselves, to take things in their own hands. Mum and dad are apparently putting their interest first.

Among boys, this materialises in more rebellious and agressive behavior. Girls have the tendency to become more anxious and withdrawn. Girls of divorce parents are sexually active at younger age.

Single parent — Wikipedia

Type of parent
«Single Parents» redirects here. For the ABC television series, see Single Parents (TV series).
«Single father» and «Single mother» redirect here. For other uses, see Single Father (disambiguation) and Single Mother (disambiguation).
«Motherless» redirects here. For other uses, see Motherless (disambiguation).

A single parent is a person who lives with a child or children and who does not have a spouse or live-in partner. Reasons for becoming a single parent include divorce, break-up, abandonment, domestic violence, rape, death of the other parent, childbirth by a single person or single-person adoption.

A single parent family is a family with children that is headed by a single parent.[1][2][3][4]


Single parenthood has been common historically due to parental mortality rate due to disease, wars, homicide, work accidents and maternal mortality.

Historical estimates indicate that in French, English, or Spanish villages in the 17th and 18th centuries at least one-third of children lost one of their parents during childhood; in 19th-century Milan, about half of all children lost at least one parent by age 20; in 19th-century China, almost one-third of boys had lost one parent or both by the age of 15.[5] Such single parenthood was often short in duration, since remarriage rates were high.[6]

Divorce was generally rare historically (although this depends by culture and era), and divorce especially became very difficult to obtain after the fall of the Roman Empire, in Medieval Europe, due to strong involvement of ecclesiastical courts in family life (though annulment and other forms of separation were more common).[7]



Among all households in OECD countries in 2011, the proportion of single-parent households was in 3-11% the range, with an average of 7.5%.

It was highest in Australia (10%), Canada (10%), Mexico (10%), United States (10%), Lithuania (10%), Costa Rica (11%), Latvia (11%) and New Zealand (11%), while it was lowest in Japan (3%), Greece (4%), Switzerland (4%), Bulgaria (5), Croatia (5%), Germany (5%), Italy (5%) and Cyprus (5%). The proportion was 9% in both Ireland and the United Kingdom.[8]

Among households with children in 2005/09, the proportion of single-parent households was 10% in Japan, 16% in the Netherlands, 19% in Sweden, 20% in France, 22% in Denmark, 22% in Germany, 23% in Ireland, 25% in Canada, 25% in the United Kingdom, and 30% in the United States. The U.S. proportion increased from 20% in 1980 to 30% in 2008.[9]

In all OECD countries, most single-parent households were headed by a mother. The proportion headed by a father varied between 9% and 25%.

It was lowest in Estonia (9%), Costa Rica (10%), Cyprus (10%), Japan (10%), Ireland (10%) and the United Kingdom (12%), while it was highest in Norway (22%), Spain (23%), Sweden (24%), Romania (25%) and the United States (25%). These numbers were not provided for Canada, Australia or New Zealand.[8]


In 2016/17, the proportion of children living in a single-parent household varied between 6% and 28% in the different OECD countries, with an OECD country average of 17%.

It was lowest in Turkey (2015, 6%), Greece (8%), Croatia (8%) and Poland (10%), while it was highest in France (23%), United Kingdom (23%), Belgium (25%), Lithuania (25%), United States (27%) and Latvia (28%).

It was 19% in Ireland and Canada.[10]

Among children living in a single-parent household, most live primarily with their mother, others primarily with their father, while other children have a shared parenting arrangement where they spend an approximately equal amount of time with their two parents. Among those living primarily with one single parent, most live with their mother.

In 2016 (or latest year available), the proportion of 6-12 year olds living primarily with their single father ranged between 5% and 36% among the different OECD countries.

It was highest in Belgium (17%), Iceland (19%), Slovenia (20%), France (22%), Norway (23%) and Sweden (36%), while it was lowest in Lithuania (4%), Ireland (5%), Poland (5%), Estonia (7%), Austria (7%) and the United Kingdom (8%). It was 15% in the United States.[11]

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In 2005/06, the proportion of 11- to 15-year-old children living in a shared parenting arrangement versus with only one of their parents varied between 1% and 17%, being the highest in Sweden. It was 5% in Ireland and the United States, and 7% in Canada and the United Kingdom.[12] By 2016/17, the percentage in Sweden had increased to 28%.[13]

Impact on parents

Single mothers

Is Divorce Bad for Children?

Many of the 1.5 million children in the U.S. whose parents divorce every year feel as if their worlds are falling apart. Divorcing parents are usually very concerned about the welfare of their children during this troublesome process. Some parents are so worried that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing it will protect their offspring from the trauma of divorce.

Yet parents who split have reasons for hope. Researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults. In this column, we discuss these findings as well as factors that may protect children from the potentially harmful effects of divorce.

Rapid Recovery

Divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow. In a 2002 study psychologist E.

Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Mitchell Elmore found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce, especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief.

These reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Only a minority of kids suffer longer.

Most children of divorce also do well in the longer term. In a quantitative review of the literature in 2001, sociologist Paul R. Amato, then at Pennsylvania State University, examined the possible effects on children several years after a divorce. The studies compared children of married parents with those who experienced divorce at different ages.

The investigators followed these kids into later childhood, adolescence or the teenage years, assessing their academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships.

On average, the studies found only very small differences on all these measures between children of divorced parents and those from intact families, suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well.

Researchers have consistently found that high levels of parental conflict during and after a divorce are associated with poorer adjustment in children. The effects of conflict before the separation, however, may be the reverse in some cases.

In a 1985 study Hetherington and her associates reported that some children who are exposed to high levels of marital discord prior to divorce adjust better than children who experience low levels. Apparently when marital conflict is muted, children are often unprepared when told about the upcoming divorce. They are surprised, perhaps even terrified, by the news.

In addition, children from high-discord families may experience the divorce as a welcome relief from their parents' fighting.

Taken together, the findings suggest that only a small percentage of young people experience divorce-related problems. Even here the causes of these lingering difficulties remain uncertain. Some troubles may arise from conflict between Mom and Dad associated with the divorce.

The stress of the situation can also cause the quality of parenting to suffer. Divorce frequently contributes to depression, anxiety or substance abuse in one or both parents and may bring about difficulties in balancing work and child rearing.

These problems can impair a parent's ability to offer children stability and love when they are most in need.

Grown-up Concerns

The experience of divorce can also create problems that do not appear until the late teenage years or adulthood.

In 2000 in a book entitled The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study, Judith Wallerstein, then at the University of California, Berkeley, and her colleagues present detailed case studies suggesting that most adults who were children of divorce experience serious problems such as depression and relationship issues.

Yet scientific research does not support the view that problems in adulthood are prevalent; it instead demonstrates that most children of divorce become well-adjusted adults.

For example, in a 2002 book, For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, Hetherington and her co-author, journalist John Kelly, describe a 25-year study in which Hetherington followed children of divorce and children of parents who stayed together.

She found that 25 percent of the adults whose parents had divorced experienced serious social, emotional or psychological troubles compared with 10 percent of those whose parents remained together.

These findings suggest that only 15 percent of adult children of divorce experience problems over and above those from stable families. No one knows whether this difference is caused by the divorce itself or by variables, such as poorer parenting, that often accompany a marriage's dissolution.

In a review article in 2003, psychologists Joan B. Kelly of Corte Madera, Calif., and Robert E. Emery of the University of Virginia concluded that the relationships of adults whose parents' marriages failed do tend to be somewhat more problematic than those of children from stable homes.

For instance, people whose parents split when they were young experience more difficulty forming and sustaining intimate relationships as young adults, greater dissatisfaction with their marriages, a higher divorce rate and poorer relationships with the noncustodial father compared with adults from sustained marriages.

On all other measures, differences between the two groups were small.

Bouncing Back

Even though children of divorce generally do well, a number of factors can reduce the problems they might experience. Children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce process or minimize the child's exposure to it.

Further, children who live in the custody of at least one well-functioning parent do better than those whose primary parent is doing poorly. In the latter situation, the maladjusted parent should seek professional help or consider limiting his or her time with the child.

Parents can also support their children during this difficult time by talking to them clearly about the divorce and its implications and answering their questions fully.

Other, more general facets of good parenting can also buffer against divorce-related difficulties in children. Parents should provide warmth and emotional support, and they should closely monitor their children's activities.

They should also deliver discipline that is neither overly permissive nor overly strict.

Other factors contributing to children's adjustment include postdivorce economic stability and social support from peers and other adults, such as teachers.

In addition, certain characteristics of the child can influence his or her resilience. Children with an easygoing temperament tend to fare better. Coping styles also make a difference. For example, children who are good problem solvers and who seek social support are more resilient than those who rely on distraction and avoidance.

The good news is that although divorce is hard and often extremely painful for children, long-term harm is not inevitable. Most children bounce back and get through this difficult situation with few if any battle scars.

Children and the family Check your vocabulary for TOEFL

  • Check your vocabulary for TOEFL
  • Children and the family
  • Exercise 1

Complete definitions 1 – 15 with words and
expressions from the box. You will not need all of the
words and expressions from the box.

adolescence      adolescent       adopt       authoritarian       birth        rate       bring        up        dependent       divorced      extended family        family life        formative years        foster       foster child        foster family      freedom       infancy     infant        juvenile       juvenile delinquency      lenient        minor (noun)        nuclear family       nurture                     over-protective        protective          raise         rebellious         relationship         relatives        responsible            separated       siblings       single         parent         single-parent         family        strict        supervision          running wild      teenager        upbringing       well-adjusted
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1 __________ is the period in someone's life when they change from being a child to being a young adult. A boy or a girl who is at this stage in their life is called an __________.
2 A __________ is someone who has not reached the age at which they are legally an adult.
3 Your brothers and sisters are sometimes referred to as your __________.
4 A couple (for example, a husband and wife) who are __________ no longer live together. If a married couple get __________, their marriage is legally ended.
5 A __________ is a family that looks after someone else's child in their own home for a period of time. A child who lives with this family is called a __________. The verb is __________.
6 A __________ is a formal word for a young person, and can also be used as a word for a young person who has committed a crime.
7 A __________ child is one who is mentally strong and able to deal with problems without becoming upset. A child who is badly behaved and refuses to obey his / her parents, teachers, etc., can be described as __________.
8 Your __________ are those in your life when your character and beliefs are most strongly influenced.
9 If you bring someone else's child into your family and legally make him or her your own child, we say that you __________ him / her.
10 A __________ is a child between the ages of 13 and 19.
11 An __________ is a baby or very young child. This period in a child's life is called __________.
12 __________ and __________ both mean the same thing: to take care of children while they are growing up.
13 An __________ is a family group that includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. A __________ is a family unit consisting of a mother, a father, and their children.
14 A __________ or __________ parent is one who makes their children follow rules and behave in a very “correct” way. The opposite of this is __________.
15 A __________ is a child or other relative to whom you give food, money, and a home. This word can also be an adjective.
  1. Exercise 2
  2. Use your dictionary to check the meanings of the
    other words and expressions in the box.
  3. Exercise 3

Complete this case study with appropriate words and
expressions from the box in Exercise 1. You may need to change the form of some
of the words.

Bob's problems began during his (1) ________________. His parents got (2) ________________ when he was young, and neither of his parents wanted to raise him or his brother and sister, so he was (3) ________________ by a (4) ________________ chosen by his parent's social worker. Unfortunately, his foster-father was a strict (5) ________________ and often beat him. Bob rebelled against this strict (6) ________________ and by the time he was eight, he was already (7) ________________ stealing from shops and playing truant. By the time he reached (8) ________________ sometime around his thirteenth birthday, he had already appeared in court several times, charged with (9) ________________. The judge blamed his foster parents, explaining that children needed (10) ________________ parents and guardians who would look after them properly. The foster father objected to this, pointing out that Bob's (11) ________________ – his two brothers and sister – were (12) ________________ children who behaved at home and worked well at school.
This has raised some interesting questions about the modern family system. While it is true that parents should not be too (13) ________________ with children by letting them do what they want when they want, or be too (14) ________________ by sheltering them from the realities of life, it is also true that they should not be too strict. It has also highlighted the disadvantages of the modern (15) ________________ where the child has only its mother and father to rely on (or the (16) ________________, in which the mother or father has to struggle particularly hard to support their (17) ________________). In fact, many believe that we should return to traditional family values and the (18) ________________ family: extensive research has shown that children from these families are generally better behaved and have a getter chanceof success in later life.

Exercise 4

Now try this essay. Use words and expressions from
the vocabulary box in Exercise 1, and any other words or expressions that you
think would be relevant.

Some people believe that children
nowadays have too much freedom. Others believe that children
are protected
too much by their parents. Which of these statements do you agree with? Use
reasons and examples to support your decision.



Divorced Parents, Living Close for the Children’s Sake (Published 2016)

Continue reading the main story

Four years ago, Cristina Gitti and Matteo Bologna, the parents of two daughters, decided to divorce. But they parted ways by only a flight of stairs. The couple opted to stay put with their girls in the brownstone they had purchased in 2003 in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, for around $1.4 million.

“We were all living up here,” said Ms. Gitti, 48, a fashion designer and the owner of Matta NY, a clothing company, referring to the top level of their three-unit brownstone. After the divorce, she continued to live on the top floor. Her ex-husband, Mr.

Bologna, 50, the founder and creative director of Mucca Design and muccaTypo, moved to the garden level; the middle unit is rented out. “At first, I didn’t know when it was O.K. to go downstairs,” Ms. Gitti said. “I think we threw some coins down the stairwell as the signal.

It worked out fine.”

While some might say this way of living is unconventional, it’s actually very New York. And in a way, New Yorkers are great models of divorce done right. For one thing, fewer are divorced than one would expect.

Nationally, the 2014 American Community Survey found 11 percent of Americans over age 15 to be divorced, while in New York City, it was a much more amicable 8 percent, according to an analysis of census data by Susan Weber-Stoger, a researcher in the sociology department at Queens College.

And when city couples do choose to split, some stay close, residing in the same neighborhoods, the same apartment buildings and even the same houses for the sake of their children and, as it often turns out, for themselves.

“The benefits are that we do not need to pick up or drop off the girls, they just use the stairs from one apartment to the other,” Mr. Bologna said. “They don’t need to carry bags in between the apartments, except for their school backpacks.

In the morning, if one parent has some work emergency, the other can pick up the slack and take the girls to school instead.

And if they forgot one of their precious Monster High Dolls at Mom’s house, all they have to do is just call upstairs and ask for permission to go and pick up the toy.”

This calling-ahead-to-the-parent-not-on-duty provision was specified in the divorce agreement.

“I think that it was very organic,” Ms. Gitti said. “There wasn’t an act of rebellion. I imagine that if the girls had been older at the time, it would have been harder.” The couple’s daughters, Olivia Bologna Gitti, 11, and Sofia Bologna Gitti, 8, were 8 and 4 at the time of the split.

“It was pretty easy, considering our fortunate setting,” Ms. Gitti said. “The main concern was to create and live in a peaceful environment for our kids as we were moving on with our lives. We had a couple of meetings with a therapist. She helped us figure out how to manage the new living situation, and we came up with rules to preserve our privacy as newly single parents.”

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